To Know My Self, Pt. 1

Well, as the old adage goes, there is never a time when you stop revising a paper. Or is that even an adage? I don't know, but it's true. Exactly 2 weeks ago, I defended my thesis. For the past 2 hours tonight, I have been analyzing more data to add to it. It kinda seems like that's a little backwards. It's almost like a director going back, and after the movie has been released in theaters, shooting more footage and adding it to his own personal copy. Or an author writing a book, having it published, and then adding a whole extra chapter just for himself. Oh well. At some point, my supervisors say that this stuff will be published in some journal. Should be pretty cool once we get to that point. So, to take a break from the monotonous clicking that I've been going through, I will work on my Q & A that Luke asked me to do. Sorry if it seems disjointed, but I'll just be jumping back and forth as questions form in my head and my tolerance for my data analysis lessens.

Question One: What is your favorite verse from the bible, and why?

While at church tonight, our speaker was talking about tasting the word of God, or in other words, having a personal, intimate relationship with him that is not dependent on others spoon-feeding us, or with us expectantly waiting to be told everything we need to know about the bible. A question that he had on his handout was to discuss your favorite/most meaningful verse for us. For me, Jeremiah 29:11 has always been one of my personal favorites:

'11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD...'

If that verse is not one that can give someone confidence in times of dire need, then I don't know what else I could say. Of course, it's not simply God that is doing something here, but it is also his people. God is saying that he will be there for us when we earnestly and whole-heartedly seek him. He won't be in hiding, He won't be holding back on us, He will be there. All we need to do is look to Him, and declare to Him that we are looking for Him with all of our hearts. What a promise.

Question Two: What possessed you to pursue a major in physics?

Sometimes, I found myself asking the exact same question. I would say, "Self, why are you doing this?" And from there, the answers would vary. My initial reasoning was my interest in astronomy (not astrology, there's a big difference). I'd always enjoyed learning about the universe, and I still do in fact. It's sad in some respects that my degree really has absolutely nothing to do with that, but at the same time, I'm thrilled to have what I do. At other times, however, I was not so thrilled. In fact, were it not for Dr. Murray at Harding, I wouldn't have gotten anywhere near this far in terms of pursuing physics. My first semester of physics was really quite awful, and I had failed the first couple exams. He stepped in, tutored me, and got me back on the right track.

I guess my main reasoning for doing physics was that it was something that I was interested in, and when placed against all the other options those early years in college, seemed like the one that would offer the most challenge, and be the most rewarding in terms of learning. I'd considered chemistry, as I had enjoyed every chemistry class I'd ever taken, but didn't feel right doing it for a major. I could have slept through a music major with the piano, would have been bored out of my mind, and probably hated the piano by the time it was said and done. In the end, I wanted something that I would have to work for. After all, it's never any fun when something is just handed to you, is it?

Question Three: You seem to really enjoy music. Why is that, and what types particularly appeal to you?

It is true that I do enjoy music. I've attempted to add a little music to this actual page with the player at the side, although I don't exactly know how much of a success that has been (or whether it works on any other computer besides mine). I would not consider myself to be anywhere near the level of a musical expert. I have a fairly extensive catalogue, although in terms of recent stuff, it only reaches back to about 1998. And even then, it's limited to what I like. But I guess that's the case for everyone's music collection. My first album that I bought with my own money was Mad Season by Matchbox Twenty, and ever since they've been one of my favorite bands. (They have new stuff coming out in October after 5 years, amazingly enough). I also enjoy classical music, both from having played it, and the fact that it can be incredibly relaxing to have on. One of the first cd's that I would play on repeat was Rachmaninoff's Second Symphony. If you want to hear something that is truly spectacular, find a recording of that. It is indeed true art.

Why is it that I like music so much? I'm not entirely sure. It's just something that I grew up with. For as long as I can remember, I've listened to music or been playing music. There's something about it that can take you out of time and space, and just let you kind of be. That's especially true when I play the piano, as it just transports you out of where you are. I'm thinking that those particular sentiments are true of anyone that is engrossed in something creatively and actively.

Perhaps the main reason I enjoy music is that I just love a good melody. Mandi criticizes me sometimes for song selections because of what they are singing about within a song, or a message that may be taken from it. I guess, in my mind at least, I don't particularly pay attention to those lyrics. I'm engrossed in the melodies and the harmonies. I'm listening for how the voice goes with the music, or how the soloist interacts with the accompaniment. I love hearing how a composer can move idea throughout a piece, recalling themes at different points, and blending them all together. I'm partial to acoustic arrangements of popular songs. Not because I don't like hearing something heavier or anything, but because it generally breaks the song down to it's basics. All you have is a melody, harmony and some accompaniment. To me, that's what music is. It's not all about loud drumming, excessive electric guitar, and especially not simply screaming over some random chords. There's an art for creating a memorable melody and being artistically able to transport it from the page to the instrument.

Question Four: Here's the usual question for guys about sports. What sports do you enjoy, which of those do you actually play, and what is your favorite memory from them?

Boy, self. Did you have to ask a sports question? Yes, I did. The list of sports that I enjoy is really quite small. First and foremost, I like soccer. I also like ultimate frisbee. I like rugby for the simple reason that it makes every player in the NFL look like a pansy with all their pads and helmets when the rugby players are getting hit just as hard with no protection. I don't really follow it though. Now, since ultimate is obviously not televised, the only sport that I will watch of my own accord with consistency is soccer. While I can respect the ability to hit a golf ball 350 yards down the fairway, or to hit a fastball with a wooden bat, or to repeatedly run in to 400 pound men, it doesn't mean that I won't be bored out of my mind watching them. And I am, so I don't.

I play both soccer and ultimate. In high school, I would have considered myself a good soccer player. Maybe good enough to play on a small college team. Certainly good enough to have played at Harding. Obviously, after 4 years of not playing soccer, my skills are seriously lacking, although having played in the Knoxville Adult League the past 2 years has shown me that I didn't lose everything. I'm by no means anywhere near my skill level as a senior in high school, but I'm not at at a complete loss out there either. As for ultimate, that was taken up once I got to college, and one Paul Murphy said that I should go play. I was horrible as I couldn't throw a frisbee, but I made up for it initially with an ability to read the disc and see where people were looking to throw. Hence, the 'Beast From The East' nickname was born. Or so I like to think it happened. Others might have a different story. At any rate, skill level increased, and I eventually came to think myself a fairly decent frisbee player. I think that skill level probably would have doubled if I could have ever learned how to dive correctly.

My favorite memory from each of these? Let's see. For frisbee, at least on the field, it was at College Regionals in 2005 when all the graduating seniors played once it got to game point in the final game for the other team. I think we ended up scoring about 3 times before they finally beat us. Playing with those guys for one last time, though, was amazing. In my years at UT, I've missed nothing more from Harding than Ultimate with all the guys. So that's why I kept going to wherever Harding was playing and playing with them anyway. So I guess I never really quit. Yet. As for soccer, it would either have to be making my first competitive team (when I still wasn't all that good, honestly), or when I got to play my senior year with my brother on the high school team. I ended up being injured fairly frequently that year, so I didn't play as much as I would have liked, but we did play our last game of the season together, and it was fun being on the same team as him for that year.

Alright, I've now given up on my data for the night. And given how long this post is, I'll continue with part 2, and the final 4 questions tomorrow.