Trust Me

It's been a good week. I've noticed that it's once again been about a week since I last updated anything on here. There's been a lot going on the past week. Dustin came home last Sunday and so I went on home and stayed at the parents house. Dustin and I spent the days that I didn't go in to the lab lazing around the house, and the evenings doing various other things that mostly consisted of playing Winning Eleven on the computer, falling asleep in the basement and eating chips and dip in extremely large quantities. We also went to a "guys night" that some of the men at our church do among themselves. It's pretty cool stuff. We had a cheap (but not Murphy cheap) hibachi style dinner and then went and saw Spider-Man 3. I thought the movie was pretty good. It could've done without some stuff that wasn't really all that important, but I liked it overall. Of course, I'm no Spider-Man fan-boy, so I couldn't tell you anything about whether it's true to the comics or whatever, but I could personally care less about that kind of stuff. I thought it was a well done movie.

There are some things that I find extremely difficult. One of those is trusting, whether that is people, God, or anything else really. I have a hard time trusting many of the drivers around me since I think that most of them don't have a clue about what they're doing. I have a hard time believing people that I don't know or that have broken my trust in them before. I have a difficult time trusting in things that I can't find proof for myself. This trust factor was the main reason that I had such a hard time making any type of commitment to God and Christ. Sure, there is the Bible and the accounts that it gives. But there isn't any concrete, hands-on proof. It took me 21 years to be able to accept that I didn't have to have something in my hands in order to believe it.

Those of you that were in the Frisbee devo that we did will remember my character choice of Thomas. I feel like I relate to him because of his need for concrete evidence. Now, obviously I am not living in that time period and, unless things change rapidly, I won't be able to personally ask Christ to show me the scars as proof of what happened. I also don't think that Jesus made a mistake in picking Thomas as a disciple. Thomas always gets a bad rap for being the doubter, although I would have to submit that all of them doubted, Thomas was just the one who was vocal about it.

At the moment, my problem is trusting in the plan for my future. I'm looking at the calendar and seeing that I've got less than 2 months to finish writing a paper that I've barely started for my thesis. I've got to find a job somewhere, anywhere. I've got a lot of things to figure out. And it's not even that I don't believe things will happen, because for many of things things I know that they will work out, but I just can't see how they will happen. And for me, not knowing how is what makes things hard.

I was just thinking about this based on some stuff we talked about at church on Wednesday night. They were studying 2 Peter 1:19-21. Now, I didn't really get most of it since I had obviously not been there for the first 18 verses. Verse 20, however, struck me. It says, "Above all, you must understand that no prophecy of Scripture came about by the prophet's own interpretation. 21For prophecy never had its origin in the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit." Therefore, with an overall trust in God, it should reason to follow that whatever the scripture says should be easy to trust. I guess in the end, I just need to read one verse. John 14:1. "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me."